


sleeping pills

by Dazerine



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mentioned Danielle Campbell, Mentioned Eleanor Calder - Freeform, Mentioned Harry Styles, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 03:13:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7741144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dazerine/pseuds/Dazerine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis just wants to sleep. He hopes it's not too much to ask.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sleeping pills

**Author's Note:**

> Um, sorry?

One.

It's not a big deal, really. People do this all the time.

Two.

He's just tired is all. People get tired all the time. It's not something that's worth worrying about. It's just nature.

Three.

He's been doing this for a long time. Five years, can you imagine? He sometimes wonder why he's hold on for so long.

Four.

He doesn't like girls. He used to, but he doesn't anymore. Not since him. Is that really a difficult concept to understand? He doesn't think so.

Five.

Harry has beautiful curly hair. It's as soft as silk and smells like apples.  
Louis loves apples.

Six.

Eleanor has curly hair. Danielle also has curly hair. It's feels soft and it also smells like apples, but it's not the same. They're never the same. No matter how hard they try, they'll never be Harry. Louis appreciates the effort though.

Seven.

Harry has really big hands. Louis loves them because they make him feel small. Louis doesn't really mind being small if he's being honest. It makes him feel protected and warm, it makes him feel serene, it makes him feel peace. Harry brings him all of that in just being in his hold.

Eight.

Eleanor and Danielle's hands are too small. It feels wrong.

Nine.

This is the last one, they say. Last one until you can breathe the samd air as him. Last one until you can sit next to him. Last one until you can touch him. Last one until you can kiss him. 

But that was also what they said before Eleanor, before Briana, before Freddie, and before Danielle.

Louis wonders when is the last time he ever felt free. 

Ten. 

Your voice is not strong enough. You don't look manly enough. You are not quiet enough. Your range is not high enough. Your sexuality is not normal enough. Your act is not convincing enough. Your distance is not far enough. Your friendship is not enough. Your love is not enough.

Louis wonders when he will ever be good enough.

Eleven.

He just needs to sleep. That's all that he asks. He hopes it's not too much. He hopes everyone understands. He hopes Harry understands.

Twelve.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.

He hopes it's enough to bring him sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> If there are any warnings I missed, please contact me. This is my first time posting a fic here and it is not my intention to make anyone uncomfortable.


End file.
